There’s a funny thing about darkness. When you are alone, it seems bigger. Stronger somehow. The same is true of secrets. When we hide them, they grow. You know, come to think of it, it works that way with a lot of things we might want to hide – how we feel, an action we regret, a mistake we’ve made. It works that way with anything that might cause shame. When we feel shame creeping silently toward our doors, we lock things down and shoo everyone away trying to make sure that when it arrives there is nobody around to see. Nobody to hear. Nobody to judge.
The problem with this tendency to hide, is that when we let these things grow, they can feel too big, too heavy, and too overwhelming to ever let go. What if someone saw now, after all this time? What if they knew? What if the truth is that this darkness is just as big as it feels?
There’s a funny thing about light, too. And truth. The truth is that when we choose to let someone in, when we refuse to let the darkness isolate us, that light will show us just how “big” the issues really are – a reality that is overwhelmingly smaller than our minds or hearts have allowed us to believe.
Years ago, I was able to be a part of an immersive group therapy program that changed my life. One of the defining characteristics of this program was that “We cannot change what we don’t first acknowledge.” and that acknowledgement happened in front of a sizeable group. Frightening right? No no. Wrong word. FREEING. You see, when troubles, feelings, unsuccessful behaviors, and all manner of things we all try desperately to keep hidden away in our most private and secret places were brought into the light, they were easier to handle. When, as part of a group, we defined ourselves as something different – something more – than the sum of all these shadows, something incredible happened. We broke through together, we stepped into the light together, and you know what? We healed.
Ever since that time, my eyes have been opened to the power of healing together. The more everything in me wants to hide, the more I realize that the darkness is wanting my isolation. That’s how it feeds. That’s where it grows. And I know better than that now.
Today, we challenge you to shine a light into the places in your mind and in your heart that cling to the shadows. Pockets of darkness that seem overwhelming and controlling and poison other things in your life. Start by identifying them as truths or lies, then pick one to share with someone in your circle and see how it goes.
Let’s look at an example;
Lie → I’m stressed, overwhelmed, and feel like I’m collapsing under the weight of expectations, but if I don’t put on a smile and keep pushing forward, people will know I’m not as strong as I seem.
Truth → I am a human who feels emotions like these when my body is telling me I need to rest. It is a sign of strength to honor these feelings, not a sign of weakness. It is okay to talk about how I’m feeling.
Wanna try another one?
Lie → If I share my pain and my struggle, people will look at me differently. I’ll be judged and considered less because of what I can’t overcome.
Truth #1 → We all have pain and struggles. It is healing to say them out loud and to realize that I’m not alone.
Truth #2 → Can’t overcome? How about haven’t overcome YET?
You see, healing happens in community. Light shines brighter when we’re together. That’s one of the things we’re trying to do here at Happily in Progress. We’re trying to embrace the truth and we’re trying to create a space where we can all come together and laugh a little, grow a little, and shift a little as we heal together.
Today I’ll leave you with a little song that helps me when I’m putting this into practice. It is a song that is very dear to me, and one I hope brings a little light and hope to you on your own healing journey.
Happily in Progress 